That rascal
Ed McMahon showed up on my doorstep again this week. You may
recall he showed up here two years ago.
He usually visits that mystical swami, Carnack the Magnificent in
Los Angeles, but two years ago Carnack sent him to visit me, his
brother Carnuck, up in Canada.
And now, as then, he neglected to bring a $10 million cheque from Publishers Clearing House. "May a thousand ants infest your pants for not bringing me a cheque!" I cried. And once again I left him standing on my doorstep as I hastened down the street to the Humungous Bank to retrieve my humungous headgear from my humungous safety deposit box.
Swamis just aren't very good at predicting the future without their mystical headgear. As you can see, I favour a pointy hat over the wide-brimmed baggage my brother uses. Gets me in the mood for some pointed remarks and predictions.
After all, it's no ordinary year coming up. it's the millennium celebration - the year 2000. The big enchilada! The large cheese! The End of the World as We know It???? Hmm! We'll see in a minute!
For as soon as I had my headgear safely ensconced on my noggin, I gestured mysteriously (as swamis are wont to do) and Ed produced the envelopes with the questions about what the year 2000 holds in store for us.
I held the first envelope to my head and concentrated mightily (as swamis are wont to do) and gave forth this answer: "Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie."
Hungrily (he loves blackbird pie) Ed tore open the envelope and read...
Copyright Notice: The wizard graphic was taken from Randi's Graphics Collection and is, to the best of his knowledge, in the public domain. If this graphic is, in fact, copyrighted, please notify me and I will remove it immediately.